Stand back. Don’t crowd me. I KNOW me and my Canadian Tire $$$ are wanted and desired.
And back off already ‘cause I'll demand a nuptial agreement, rest assured that you won’t get your paws on my CT loot!
Okay, those Americans in the reading audience are shaking their heads, I’m sure, (Canadian Tire money is like monopoly money, that you receive as a cash refund every time you purchase something at this automotive/hardware department store, and then you can accumulate these bills, which come in 5, 10, 25 and 50 cent and $1 amounts, and trade them in for free stuff at Canadian Tire…there, now you know!) but for us Canucks, do I really have to say anything more?
And I’m not proud either. I’ll try to scoff some from inside my friends’ cars, I’ll embezzle it from my own Mother, and if need be, I’ll fight the bum on the street for his last nickel CT note!
Now, of course, this may be viewed as a sign of mental imbalance to others, when I myself just think that amassing the stuff may be the only way I’ll ever compete with Buffet, Gates or Trump…it’s not like my family owns a sugar plantation, you know!
So yes, my wealth WILL BE amassed in Canadian Tire money… “What do you plan on doing with it all, MsBurb?”
Funny you should ask…
I could cash it in for, say, a brand new set of wiper blades or a sparkling new can of 10-W-40, or God forbid if I get enough of it, an authentic Canadian Tire Foam Beer Holder!
But I dunno..
The fun is in amassing, isn’t it? I mean, wouldn’t that be the answer Buffet, Gates or Trump would give?
I mean how many Lear Jets can Trump own and how many Foam Beer Holders can MsBurb own?
Suppress the excess, I always say!
Nah, my best plan for my CT $$$ is that near the end of my life, I shall book a suite at the Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas, go nowhere, see no one, play no games, hit no pools, dump my loot on my ceiling-mirrored heart-shaped bed and just rollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll around in it buck naked, ‘til my heart gives out and I die a happy camper.
I haven’t decided who will inherit my vast estate of automotive trinkets bought over the years with my previously accumulated CT loot. I think I’ll wait for some Toy-Boy to come along and have his way with me, knowing full well what he’s really in it for…ahhhhhhhh….