The Buck & Buntline Inn is a Social Commentary/Virtual Lounge site - with a Northern Irish Pub-like moniker (hence the Green Look!) that spoofs on two of the weapons used in the Tate-LaBianca Manson Family murders: the Buntline Revolver & the Buck Knife - with in-house barmen, Burb & her Guest Authors, serving your Cocktails with a wee bit of insight and wit...or just drivel...depending on how loaded we were when we wrote our last post! If you like our Lounge, click the pink diamond "FOLLOW B3!!!" button located just below this marquee and join via one of our social media gadgets, and while we're fixing your drink, check out our SiteMap for a full listing of our posts as well! Thanks for visiting B3 and may your Cocktail Glass never be empty!

InOutPostSet
DanMan o' LawMsBurb
Feed Me B3! B3 New Posts in Your Mailbox Anyone?

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Kermit the Frog…MsBurb’s Decades Long Love Affair Unmasked!

KermittheFrog-LoveAffair-MsBurb 12 Yes, Hello, my name is MsBurb, and I have had Posted by MsBurba decades long affair with Kermit the Frog.

Why confess? Well, you see Kermit was going to leave his wife KermittheFrog-LoveAffair-MsBurb 6Miss Piggy for me but just a couple weeks ago, he told me he had no intention of leaving that brazen hussy and their love child , Kermit Jr. KermittheFrog-LoveAffair-MsBurb 14 He tried to reason with me but I wouldn’t listen.

I broke down and pleaded but Kermit wouldn’t budge.

So I did the only thing a loose woman like myself could do, I black-mailed him. Yes, I’m not proud but he’s a verrrrry rich frog and I’m, well, a gold-digger.

He took advantage of me all these years, kept our “love” secret and all the public accolades went to that wife of his.

Sure, she’s a beautiful pig and I’m rather a plain-looking human, but somehow, all that “bedding” we did had to have been for something, right?

I was hurt. I was ashamed. I thought we could have a real life together. He could have left that pink, pig-pen pest and been with me.

Then, we could have dined in public, I could have stood beside him instead of KermittheFrog-LoveAffair-MsBurb 10 “Her” at his premieres, been there on the sidelines as he taped his Christmas shows…

Black-mailing him was all I had left.

For $1,000,000.00.

Yep, one million bucks, and you know what? He paid it! Didn’t even bat a froggy eyelash! He wrote me a cheque like I was some sort of high-priced hooker!

Well that was the last straw! I had promised him I would never go public with our affair but after he treated me like so much call-girl, my heart got hard and I decided I might as well sell my story for BIG money to the tabloids!KermittheFrog-LoveAffair-MsBurb 1

Well, before I knew it, once my lawyer leaked the story, CNN and Fox and all the news affiliates grabbed the story and Kermit’s likeness was plastered on every every newspaper and magazine cover…

KermittheFrog-LoveAffair-MsBurb 4 Kermit held a press conference where he admitted his “transgressions” but the damage was already done.

Kermit was enraged. He called me on his cell phone and yelled at me for the first time in our relationship. I cried. I knew what I had done was wrong but I was hurt and I wanted revenge.

Miss Piggy went on a European ski vacation with her twin sister and Kermit was left alone for the holidays.

I tried to call his cell but he wasn’t answering. The “public” line was that he was trying to reconcile with his family. I prayed that wasn’t true.

I still loved Kermit. I still do.

This week, Miss Piggy filed for a divorce because of my admission. I guess I’m a home-wrecker as well as a gold-digger but I’m now very rich in my own right and the stigma doesn’t sting like it once did.

Kermit and I have talked since, have made plans to meet, but there is a coldness and a distance felt between us on the phone that makes that proposition seem unrealistic as this point.

He told me quite unceremoniously that Disney had dropped him as their sponsor. That was a HUGE contract for Kermit and I felt bad. His public “image” has been tarnished, for good, it’s hard to say. KermittheFrog-LoveAffair-MsBurb 13

 

 

 

 

He and his publicist are in negotiations with Mattel Toys and the Ford Company but Kermit’s sponsorship prospects are looking dim.

The stress has taken a toll on both of us and Kermit has KermittheFrog-LoveAffair-MsBurb 8checked himself into a hospital for tests after that SUV “incident”.

 

 

 

 

 

The KermittheFrog-LoveAffair-MsBurb 9 x-rays don’t look good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m sorry I wrecked his world. I’m sorry I wrecked his family but that’s what love does to a person and I did love Kermit the Frog.

Kermit the Frog, Love Affair, MsBurb

20 comments:

Sarah said...

you naughty little woman you. lol

the real pig is the frog. forget him and find youself a new frog. or a new pig. imagine: you might have to call your love child burbrog!

MsBurb said...

lol...WHAT A NAME!!!

BURBROG!!!

This was "supposed" to be a spoof on the whole Tiger Woods affair but I'm getting "WTF?!!!" emails as I type this...sigh...

Aine Butler-Smith said...

So when do you get your talk show?

Aine
theevolvingspirit.blogspot.com

MsBurb said...

LOL, Aine!!!

As soon as my book deal and signing tour are over, naturally!

Spee said...

Too Funny!! I laughed till I hurt. Good Stuff.

MsBurb said...

Lol, thank-you Spee!

That's what I live for and write for...to give the world a silly chuckle or two...

Thank-you for your kind words, you made my day!

MsBurb

Ryan said...

Kermit's a plaaayyyaaa- i kid, he's always suitable for family entertainment. A very funny post none the less! :)

Ally said...

Too cute... My college boyfriend's best friend's mother supposedly created Miss Piggy. I believe it too. She worked for Jim Henson for many years. Weird right? My college boyfriend was from Manhattan and was super cool! I wish I could blog about it but I feel funny doing so now that I'm married to someone else. Like his aunt was Sherry Lewis (as in Lamb Chop the puppet) ...

OK, sorry to babble!
Ally
Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing

MsBurb said...

Ryan - Yeppers, even the guy-in-green can be alluring, ya know! (wink, wink)

Glad you got a chuckle!

Ally - I pray your "college, boyfriend's best friend's mother" looked better than Miss P!!!

Hope you enjoyed the spoof on Tiger Woods just the same!

MsBurb

Leah said...

Hi, great piece. Couldn't stop laughing the entire time :-)

Kitty Moore said...

That was genius! Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Kitty x

MsBurb said...

Leah - Thank-you Leah! I hated to mix Kermit in with Tiger Woods but couldn't help myself...

Kitty Moore - Thank-you for kind words. MsBurb is not often called a genius, ya know?! And I was more than happy to visit your blog - a grrrreat site!

MsBurb

Armando said...

MsBurb:
I do not know how to say this to you, but I concur you are a genius not only is in an excellent story, but a combination of reality with a really nice twist.
I do appreciate your comment you make on my blog, but the funny thing is that one I did it on my own. My wife had to work 16 hours that particular day so I could not asked for help to her. So I take your compliments and I do appreciateyour guidance and friendship. Take care and don't let that frog get away with that. LOL.

les aventures des cybernautes said...

Aha! Much like the tabloids but at least with some wit. Great post!

MsBurb said...

To Armando - WOW! Then congratulations on your solo effort, Armando! You are really doing much better!

I studied languages in university so I KNOW the difficulties you face...

Hard enough to write a blog but to do it in a foreign language, I tip my hat to you!

To LES ADVENTURES DES CYBERNAUTES - Thank-you for your kind words. If I have to twist a knife into someone, i at least want to do it with a smile!!! (wink, wink)

MsBurb said...

To LES ADVENTURES DES CYBERNAUTES - Thank-you for your kind words. If I have to twist a knife into someone, i at least want to do it with a smile!!! (wink, wink)

Linda said...

Funny post. I like Kermit too... thought I dated him once but it turned out to be an imposter, a frog who looked like him. Since then I have been emulating Miss Piggy, since she is so glamorous and confident.

MsBurb said...

To LINDA - See my response to you on my new Guest Book Gadget in the sidebar!

Anonymous said...

Bet you're sorry now, ya brazen Burbby...

No money to show for it, huh? It ain't easy bein' green...


TMandrake

MsBurb said...

You're SO right, TM...

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

(tee hee)

MsBurb

 
Celebrity Blogs - BlogCatalog Blog Directory
Blogs2c Blogs Monitor
Amfibi AutomaticSiteMap FeedBurner Blogarama BuzzerHut INeedHits TopBlogArea How To Promote A Blog
Blogalaxia Blogdigger Blogged Bloggernity BlogHints BlogLog BlogTopList BlogTopSites Feedage FeedPing
FeedShark FuelMyBlog GlobeOfBlogs GoogleAnalytics OnTopList PMetrics Pingates SubmitExpress
TopBlogging urlfan WebLog Directory WhoLinksToMe