How Come No Hitler T-Shirts???

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Now before you go get a AdolfHitler-Jews-NewYorkGarmentDistrict 2 bucket of tar, and then grab a  AdolfHitler-Jews-NewYorkGarmentDistrict 3 bucket of feathers, hear me out, okay…

There are…

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“Charlie Don’t Surf” tees…

There are…

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Mao Tse Tung, Chairman-of-the-Board (like Frank Sinatra, right?!)  tees…

There are gobs of...

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Fidel tees…

And if you look hard enough, you’ll find the odd

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Stalin tee to go with the more popular
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Che Guevara bikini bottom…

Sooo, how come no

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Adolf Hitler tees?

Being the jaded Irishman that I am, I started to fear that the T-Shirt Industry, which is, I’m sure, part of the New York Garment Industry, mayyyyyy be run by Jewish people…

No, stop running towards me with that tar and those feathers!!!

It’s just a wild guess on my part, as old MsBurb is as far away culturally from the New York Garment Industry as you can get without stepping off this planet.

But it makes you wonder, right? (Okay, not you necessarily, because YOU have a Life; I mean people like me, who ponder such things as they extricate the lint from their belly buttons in the wee hours…)

I mean, it’s gotta be easy enough to silk screen the gazillion of images we have of Hitler on to, say, a blood-red tee, maybe a negative image outlined in black would be nice.

You wouldn’t have to show ghastly images of crematoria ovens in the background of the tee if you didn’t want to and the Jewish Star of David could be an optional touch as well.

You could make’em in all the fashionable colours of the day…hot pink, sage green, electric blue, chestnut brown…and don’t forget about my personal favourite – blood-red!

You could flog’em on street corners – I’m thinking around 47th Street to 5th Avenue in downtown Manhattan for a start, but since this is the

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you mayyyy want to take a body-guard with you, and you mayyyy want him to NOT be Jewish…it’s your call, really.

For the Hassidic Jewish youngster/consumer, you may want to reverse my black image on that blood-red tee, just so that it won’t clash with their all black garb, and you mayyyyyy want to make those tees have long tails, so the kids can hide them under their white button down shirts when they hop off to Yiddish classes…your choice, really.

Stop throwing that tar and lopping those feathers!!!!  You’re missing me anyway, I’m too petite of a target (tee hee)!!!

I know, harsh, callous, inconsiderate.

But it just seems that there is a market being under-exploited out there in the American T-shirt business.

You know, it’s not like Che and Fidel and Mao and Josef didn’t do their fair share of mass killing over the years. It’s not like entire hordes of the disenfranchised and the disaffected didn’t come to wholesale ethnic slaughter under the knives of those leaders’ regimes.

If I can see a bikini image of Che on the cat-walk in a New York or Milan fashion show, then why not

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I’m thinking there is something to this Jewish-U.S. Garment Industry connection…but then again, I didn't realize the French Connection had anything to do with Montreal, Canada until two decades later after the heroin shit had already hit the R.C.M.P. fan!

Sigh…MsBurb IS adorable…but fast on the up-take…not so much…

If anyone out there in Webland can tell me why I can’t buy a “Hitler, How Kampf You Weren’t Mein?!” or an  “Adolf, You’re Oven Hot!” T-shirt in my neighbourhood mall, please let me know…’cause I HATE being the last one in on a good thing!