The Buck & Buntline Inn is a Social Commentary/Virtual Lounge site - with a Northern Irish Pub-like moniker (hence the Green Look!) that spoofs on two of the weapons used in the Tate-LaBianca Manson Family murders: the Buntline Revolver & the Buck Knife - with in-house barmen, Burb & her Guest Authors, serving your Cocktails with a wee bit of insight and wit...or just drivel...depending on how loaded we were when we wrote our last post! If you like our Lounge, click the pink diamond "FOLLOW B3!!!" button located just below this marquee and join via one of our social media gadgets, and while we're fixing your drink, check out our SiteMap for a full listing of our posts as well! Thanks for visiting B3 and may your Cocktail Glass never be empty!

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Monday, November 2, 2009

The World’s FIRST Hum-V…We Could Use This Critter in Afghanistan Right Now!!!

AfghanWar-Dinosaurs-TatankacephalusCooneyorum 1 Fox News
Usually I stay clear of wanting a return of any of our dinosaur friends.

I just have no desire to, say, see a bird the same size as a 747.

And I’m middle-aged now, so out-running a T-Rex is probably not going to happen.Posted by MsBurb
But today, I think I’m finally longing for the return of just one of these ancient critters, the, and I quote, “Tatankacephalus cooneyorum” (geez, why do palaeontologists have to make these names so darn difficult, why not just call him “Bob Smith #42”???).

This four-legged dude is jam-packed with thousands of tiny armour-platted, well, plates, like a ginormous turtle slowly going about his business, with the capacity of hiding inside himself at the first hint of unwanted attention, say, from a slobbering T-Rex who thinks this living 20 foot long Hum-V could be tasty.

When I took my first look at this extinct being, I said to myself, (yeah, talking to oneself is the first sign of old age/lunacy, so what’s your point?!) “Self, Man, this is what we need in those baron hills on the Afghan/Pakistan border!”

Can you see what I’m seeing? Okay, you can’t so here it is…

This low-lying Quadra-ped could amble up and down those hillsides, totally impervious to RPGs and gunfire, swishing its clubbed tail and whacking to death any/all of those bed-sheet wearin’ jihad freaks which call those hills their home.

Yep, “Harold Hummer” (yes, I’ve now re-named him…easier to spell, more appropriate a name if ya ask me! but I’m no palaeontologist!) could roam those hillsides and maybe be voiced activated trained, so our tiny human-sized generals could install a set of ginormous earphones on this critter and bark orders at Harold, like, “Turn Left!” “Swing That Tail!”, “Duck and Cover! Duck and Cover!” kinda like the eye-laser driven missiles on American aircraft.

If a whole hoard of those jihadists came out of a cave, Harold could just be ordered to open his mouth and swallow them whole, despite being a devout vegetarian giant. Yeah, I’m sure jihadists are pretty dry and crunchy but maybe he could swallow some farm animals afterwards to compensate for those tough and chewy war-mongers.

Yeppers, Harold Hummer, we could use you right now.

Maybe if we could find and bring back to life a Harriet Hummer, you know, a shapely female version of Harold, the US army could breed them and have little new-born Hummerettes invade Iran while they’re at it, gobbling Iran’s leadership crones and any/all nuclear energy/bombs that were found lying around in that closed-off country. Sure, the Hummerettes would glow in the dark from ingesting nuclear fuel rods but Hell, that would just make tracking them a whole lot easier!

Yep, it’s official, Burb is wishing for a Harold & Harriet Hummer dinosaur come-back.

I believe the boys who are going to die tomorrow over there may be wishing the same thing.

UPDATE: I guess I was half right...we could have used him at Fort Hood the other day!!!

Afghan War, Dinosaurs, Tatankacephalus cooneyorum




5 comments:

plainolebob said...

Congrats on your award

plainolebob said...

Oh and I like the hummer idea

Sarah said...

then we have to worry about where to bury them...keep them in iran?

Write Right Where You "R" said...

This looks like my freakin' sister-in-law! hahaaahhh

New Cornerstone Missionary Baptist Church said...

OK, boo!
I'm right here lookin' at'ya!
Peace...

 
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